tafka_byanney's Journal

TNA Impact
Recap of Christian and Monte

Kind of funny that 60 minute adrenaline rush is highlighted with a Jarrett guitar shot.

Did I hear Jarrett v James?

Monte v Helvis(?) Apparently he’s part of some tag team. And in the time it took me to type that last sentence, a pounce was a comin and a jobbin a Helvis did. You think Helvis goes to back to his CPA job Monday morning? -*

We’re the gleesome threesome if you know what I mean.. I don’t want to know. I guess we’re getting the 3 Live Kru announcement early. As long as Konnan is around, there will always be a stench in the air. Honky Tonk’s valet? Palumbo? 17 people get it. Cupcakes from Billy are better than Debra’s cookies. Truth accepted Kquickly. It’s ultimatum time. Someone explains to Konnan the word ultimatum. Damn multi-syllable words. The sun-fed Superman? That’s actually kind of cool. How long will this last?

Some doctor talks about Daniels. At least James Andrews has some credibility and he’s not some extra from Doogie Howser.

Here comes AJ. Rule 1 of an indy wrestler, wearing McDavid elbow/knee pads. Hail Sabin, why is this non-title? Note to TNA execs: when I’m trying really hard to get into a match, don’t go to a commercial. All the people saying Let’s go Sabin should be struck dead for not cheering for our hero. A dropkick, good to see he’s practicing for Velocity. Sweet low kick and nice reversal sequence, though the power bomb would’ve been cooler. The chops get lighter, but they sell harder. Either should’ve sen the dropkick coming and just moved but then idiots wouldn’t have a TNA chant. Styles almost sold the enziguri, at least he sold the powerbomb. Nice clash. Same old same old, if these people had any real talent, 80% of their moves wouldn’t have been reversed. **

Raven/Zybysko in a battle of wits with no real winner. Me crying into my pillow. Why is Shane Douglas still on my screen?

Geez, Christian Cage has made his fair share of enemies. Wow, Gail Kim really should avoid close-ups. I’d go with semi-colon.

Hmm, Abyss v Hardy, this may not suck. What the hell is with his face? He should stop spilling the acid until after the match. How long until the lights out/Sabu interference? I tried clotheslining Abyss twice once, made for a short night for me in a battle royal. Abyss throws Jeff around, Jeff makes plucky comeback, etc. Something in his past about barbed wire...maybe prison? It’s not like TNA does stringent background checks on employees. Is that a guy in an APA shirt? See, this match is so boring without the big bump at the end I can look at what the crowd is wearing. Or listen to Don West, nah, back to the crowd. What promotion didn’t give us barbed wire? ECW had no credibility when all Joey did was bash the competition, Tenay is the same way for TNA. Since he uses the Twist of Fate as the finisher, does that make him 2.0? *1/2

I still don’t care about Rhino. .

What the hell is with the Diesel/HBK thing on the ramp? Is there a reason we insist on making Billy Gunn a main eventer? Does TNA hate their fans that much? There might be a more moronic phrase than I’m Kip James, Bitch, I just can’t think of it yet. A commercial on top of this crap? Now this is my kind of Kip James match. Why do WWE guys get DQ’ed for using chairs on the outside, but TNA guys don’t? And Kip shows his knowledge of AJ matches by popping back up for his extended version of “offense.” I’m waiting for sweet, sweet death. And out comes a jealous Jackie Gayda, I don’t even want to know why. CATFIG...eh, at least Gail is hot on her back. Security takes turns feeling up Jackie as Gail leaves. Well, at least they should. Jeff Jarrett is part of Team Canada and AMW is part of Jarrett’s team and my head hurts. Wow, this sucked really, really bad. DUD

All in all, an alright show, maybe Styles/Sabin deserved better, but everything else was rather underwhelming, we’ll see what House of Fun has in store next week.

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